Home w some bumps

How wierd-my pics have never loaded up like that before! See stories below.

Thanks to one of our many awesome nurses, Nurse Christina, we were discharged rather quickly yesterday. That makes our total length of stay -afternoon on Sunday(October 31) to Wednesday afternoon (Nov 3). She asked me at noon what time Triston gets out of school and when I told her 3, she promised me she would have me out of there in time to meet him at the door! She is one my favs bc she is so informative and tells it like it is...and sneaks me goodies like xtra diapers n gloves n toothettes n thermometers to take home. She even dressed him while I got our bags packed up!

We were ready to walk out by 1:30pm. I am so glad she offered to walk down with us bc it was a far walk. I had left my car at the ER lot all that time. When we arrived to the van my key fob was not working. I then noticed the front doors were unlocked from my view of the windows. I thought someone broke in! Well, no...I got closer and noticed an interior light on and realized I had a dead battery. Turned the key and there it was...no turn over. I was SOOO RELIEVED she was with me. I would have dropped to my knees and cried in pure exhaustion had she not been there w suggestions. I couldnt even think clearly. She mentioned that public safety would jump the car enuf to get me home. We walked back to the building. She held onto G while I communicated and worked w the officer. It started right away! Sigh of relief. I hugged Christina and loaded G in the car. I headed home-praying there would be no more hangups1

I arrived minutes before T was to return from school. His buddy's dad was taking care of dropoff for us this week so I met T out front. The smile and screech for MOMMY was the best! He was excited to me as I was to see him. For the next couple of hours every 30 min or so he would hug me and kiss me and tell me he loved me or missed me. I said it right back to him, along with how proud of him I was that he was brave and well-behaved and took care of his baby bro while I was gone. He loved hearing that. I loved saying it.

T also returned home to another surprise-a package from Grandpa. The Arkansas packages are usually labeled with Grandma touches but this one was all Grandpa's doing. Grandpa saw it and thought of T right away. T was so touched it was all his. Something with the right timing that he needed this lil surprise. A wooden baby dinosaur peeking out of an egg. His response-"Grandpa sends the coolest packages! But,Grandma sends clothes and candy". I could tell his wheels were still spinning. Then he adds, "My room is not special enough. Not everyone will see it. I will put it here!", as he placed it on our dining room buffet. It looks great there!

Shortly after T arrived home Mamac had to leave to get to work. I didnt get a chance to shower! It had been 3 days! Yuk. Then Caden woke up. I couldn't wait to see his expression when he saw my face. I got the biggest smile. I unswaddled him and found the above pics. He was wearing an 18 mos old onesie! I couldnt understand upon first glance what he was sucking on. Then I saw the long sleeves and knew there was NO way he grew that much on me in a few days. He IS NOT ALLOWED to. He didnt seem to mind it though-look at those smiles and then in the second pic he is laughing bc I was teasing him about his clothes.

Then T n G fell into usual afterschool routine (on our stay at home days-which are def the case until further notice Monday bc w Gs ridiculously low ANC he cannot be exposed to the "outside world"). G stumbled across T's halloween treat bag and dragged it everywhere and for the next few hours all I heard was G asking me to "open, please" (he ate so much candy, I didnt even care! He deserved it), G bossing T and Bryley around, and T yelling "Mom, he's doing it again" as he antagonized every inch of T (G missed him so much he just wouldnt leave him alone). At one point I heard T scream to G "will you just use your patience and let me do my homework! I have things to do you know!" I just giggled to myself. I missed it all.

I know many of you think I'm lying when I say that but I really mean it. I very rarely yell. It's not what I want in our house. The only times I have been raising that get-out-of-the-way-mommy's-mad-voice is at bed time. It is a very frustrating time. All of June and July these two slept in the same room. Lights out and go to sleep on your own. I didnt care if they read books for a bit but they were not allowed to come out. Ironically T fell asleep first and it was G that would push it to the limits and play at the train table. But he would not yell to come out or attempt to escape. He felt fine knowing T was there and when that tired bug finally hit he would crawl into his bed and fall asleep w whatever toy in hand. By the end of the first week T was out within minutes and G was lasting about half an hour before playtime ended on his own.

Since diagnosis T lost his room buddy bc practically all of Aug and most of Sept G slept in our bed. We just did not feel comfy with him out our sight. Most of October he slept in his own bed other than the nights his respiratory infection left us in monitor mode. But bedtime is tricky. Now they feed off each other and will not settle down if we attempt the same room bit. Its a funny kinda feed but when we are so exhausted its gets irritating after an hour. They tickle and laugh and tease n read n joke and so forth. It is great brotherly business but they truly need their sleep. Mommy n daddy need their sleep! So we separate them. We cant just close the door on G anymore and walk away. Too many fears of injuries while he is playing around and such, and if he does fall and injure himself we need to be able to say what happened. By the end of each week we do not know what his blood numbers are and that is nerve-wracking. A bruise freaks us out. A bump even more. And blood-well, that's another issue with his clotting factors. Yes, it's an edgey life we live now and not the Aerosmith kind. So these days T gets sent to his room to go to sleep on his own . But sometimes he wants to cuddle with us as much as G gets to. He has nights he cries that he feels lonely. Charito takes one and I take the other. We play it be ear. There are nights T is so tired that he is off to bed and out so quickly. Then there are nights he's so wired that he needs quiet time with an adult to fall asleep. It is so inconsistent. Since Grayson was 3 mos old he and T went to bed at 6:30pm and slept til 6/7am. It went on for years and I miss it. Now we are trying our best to get to some kind of schedule but it is constantly interrupted. Depending on the meds G is on affect his bedtime, our bedtime. And it is not fair to send T off to bed when G gets to stay up playing bc he needs one more hour of awake time before we can administer this or that med. It's about keeping an even playing field for both of them and not hurting T along the way. He is way to aware, intelligent and compassionate for that. So needless to say, bedtime is rough. On a tough night each adult takes a kid. On an easy night T is so tired he puts himself to sleep and G just happened to not have a nap earlier or his platelets and hemoglobin are so low he falls asleep really quickly. But that is the other thing. He is so used to sleeping in our bed now bc of all those nights we keep an eye on him that he prefers it. So if he is having a difficult time falling asleep we let him pass out in our bed and then move him to his bed(if it is a bit "safer" of an evening to do so). I sure won't leave him in our bed to fall out! Other nights he starts off in his bed and we lie next to him and cuddle or rub his head or back or whatver he demands until he falls asleep. And then there are those nights when I want both boys in my bed with me. Family night.

I don't even know where this post is going anymore! Lost track. This is what happens when I cant get it done in one sitting (started it on Wednesday or Thursday and now it is Friday)and I'm already feeling cloudy to begin with.

But our return home left me with mommy stuff to catch up on. Baths! Oh my-Caden hadn't had one in maybe two weeks! I was afraid to look at his scalp. All that hair has left him an oily kid. Each one of my guys has had a bit of cradle cap and without a bath Caden's was gross. Not the worst case out there but for a clean freak it was enough. That baby boy sat under that running faucet in our bathroom sink while I combed like crazy. I couldn't believe how long he tolerated it. I got him all fixed up. T needed nails trimmed. G needed nails trimmed. My mother-in-law got alot of laundry done. I still had tidbits to do. It was as if as soon I walked in the doors I had to put that Mommy Hat back on and get to it. I felt so disorganized.

But at least I got some work done during the downtime of Grayson's naps during the hospital stay. I was able to return to the interrupted business of planning a site for Triston and Grayson's combo bday party in December. I found a place newly remodeled. And even better-the supervisor granted us the space to ourselves at a cheaper rate. I had mentioned I was in the hospital with my 2 yr old and that led to G's story and then before I knew it she was more than accomodating. It was such a blessed act of kindness from a total stranger. I cried over the phone with her. I couldn't believe it. She insisted that G's five yr old brother should have the bday experience he deserves and the safer accomodations for his 2 yr old brother to be able to attend. It was amazing! It was a feel good kinda moment to make for a full day of feel good kinda vibes. On Thursday when I had to run to the site and pay the deposit I brought that supervisor flowers. It was the least I can do! She just called me to thank me for them. I explained to her that if she was one person I could show gratitude toward I wanted to. Even if I hadn't met her yet. Maybe one day I will. But up until this point our friends and family will not take anything from us return and if I could give back to one person I was going to. It meant so much to us. Then following that phone call via hospital room I was able to confirm Caden's baptism details and approve a spectacular design for his invitations thanks to Uncle Joel. It was an accomplishing day for Mommy/secretary.

I don't remember what else I wanted to include in this post.

Well, regardless of what my house looked like, fridge, dirty kids under the microscopic eye of a mommy and they feeling that I lost control of the house (what little I have of it these days) all were well fed, loved, held and cared for thanks to many people. It was the best thing I could ask for under these circumstances. Now to make sure Charito and I stay healthy and wish for happy holidays...the older boys are in Santa mode already!!