Poor Butt

We figured out weeks ago that G hates getting his diaper changed bc of the constant interruptions he had to endure in the hospital and the aches and pains he consistently feels. I think being in that position (especially after spinal taps and punctures for bone marrow) and the pressure we place on his legs to hold them up really hurts him. Then add the impatience level he has been inhabiting lately and wallah-full out screaming on the tippy top of his lungs each and every diaper change.

Well, now we get to add a new element to it. I noticed last week (and brought up to Dr Kwon who stated it looked fine and was normal for the course) that there is an area of his bottom that is darker in skin color than the rest of him. I discovered in reading our little leukemia bible, Childhood Leukemia, that there were children who suffered horrendous blisters, open sores and rashes from the medication releasing in their stools. One mom had to create some magic au natural concoction of a butt paste bc nothing over the counter would work.

Just imagine poison going in one end (mouth or port) and coming out the other...I am sure it burns like crazy and obviously is not kind to skin tissue. So that explains the darker skin color and sore he had last week. OTC triple paste cleared that up fast but it has left a scar. And he has bowel movements 4-6 times a day. He sure doesn't complain when he goes and is sitting in it bc he def does not want us to change that diaper. And the smell is unbearable. I fight him to change it right away. 2 yr old attitude then ensues to the max. It makes me glad I didnt have him potty trained 100% before all this bc we would have had some major regression!

I just can't help but think...one day his significant other is going to see him naked and check out this dark stain/discoloration on his butt? How funny! Will it fade away? Or only get darker and bigger bc the chemo drugs are only increasing in potency and frequency. He already has Mongolian spots ( Mongolian blue spots are flat bluish- to bluish-gray skin markings commonly appearing at birth or shortly thereafter. They appear commonly at the base of the spine, on the buttocks and back and also can appear on the shoulders. Mongolian spots are benign and are not associated with any conditions or illnesses. Mongolian blue spots are common among darker skinned persons, such as those who are of Asian, East Indian, and African descent) on his butt we are waiting to fade out. I know this is just a minor "change" in the big scheme of things but a thought nonetheless. I am mom...I cant help but wonder and worry.

But, here's how I see it-whomever Grayson meets and when will be someone with a big heart and see him for who he really is. A man that edured so much but triumphed through it all. Someone that will stand by him no matter what. Someone who will understand the fears that both he and the rest of us have as a family knowing this could all come back to haunt us again, anyday. Only a special person can see that in G and only that type of person will marry my G. Otherwise they will have to deal w the wrath of the numero uno Mommy of Mama's Boys. My Grayson will find that person that makes him want to hang onto life ever more and live it to its fullest. Throw it all to the wind and do it all without hesitation bc life IS that short. I know it, because he DESERVES it all! I WANT him to have it all!