Peds in the Weeds

August 7th, 2011
This was the first cancer event we attended as a family. Many opportunites have crossed my desk from the Midwest Childrens Brain Tumor Center
 (http://www.advocatehealth.com/lgch/midwestchildrensbraintumorcenter), the pediatric oncology department and other pediatric cancer organizations the past year-tickets to this and that, party here and there, etc. , but this was one we were actually able to attend bc everyone was finally feeling well  ( and Charito and I were ready to take that leap as a family). We even agreed to attend right alongside R and her family (remember her? 8+ yrs ago Drs Kwon and Goodell treated her for lymphoma and her sis and bro in law are G's godparents and our great friends. A little scary that 8+ yrs apart here we were attending the same event for the same ugly reasons).

The event was described as a huge party in the woods. Picnics, balloons, games, activities and the ever popular Dunk the Docs. I remember the first time I heard about it. It was during our very first clinic visit one week after the diganosis. I remember thinking "How can they talk about some party in the woods when I don't even know what is going to happen tomorrow?" It was really hard to picture any of this back then. To make anything out of each upside down day. My, my how far we have come.

When I asked the kids what their fav part of the day was:
T: "Losing my first tooth and playing mini golf."
G: "Dr. Dell splashed me! Dr Kwon got me wet!" Yes, he dunked the docs in the water tanks. He was given a free pass and Dell told him to just run up there and push the button. We will work on that pitcher's strike for the future!

 G and Nurse Jenn

 G and Nurse Shell

 balloons representing each patient

 The balloon release

 G and Dr Dell-after the dunking!

 Dancing w his girlfriend Areum

 choo choo

 running free

As you can see from the pics-how could anyone NOT have a good time?! It is now an event we plan on attending for years to come. The detail, effort and organization put into such an event was nothing but impressive. And to see the faces of patients currently battling cancer, those who won the fight and continue to treasure the event and those attending in memory of  fighters was nothing short of surreal. Another memory for us to hold onto.

Blessings, Hopes & Wishes

Seven years ago today, September 18th, I married the most wonderful man! SEVEN years of marriage! SEVENTEEN years of being together! We are pretty damn amazing, babe!

I could go on and on about what we have accomplished, the good and the bad,  in 17 yrs but the five most important things are these:
1. Us-we hold each other up and will continue to do so
2. Triston
3. Grayson
4. Caden
5. Leukemia

It baffles me to think that in 17 yrs the most life-altering events occurred in the past 400 days or so. The list seems endless at times. My previous posts describe them in detail. But here we are. Doing what we do best. Being us. Continuing to push forward.

And in tow are our 3 amazing boys.

Without a doubt Grayson's leukemia diagnosis has been the most heart-wrenching. Any moment of any day can bring back to that one sentence as my 22 mos old goofed around with his 4 yr old bro in the background and my 5 day old was just happy to see the world in all it's beauty.  The lives we knew were altered forever. The memories we imagined for our kids on our wedding day shattered. But by accepting that we needed to build a new kind of life for our family of 5, a new normal, and keep the love, hope and prayers full we are able to be standing right where we are today. It may be our anniversary to celebrate but I acknowledge so much more. Another morning with my boys. To cuddle, hug and kiss as many times as I want in one hours time. I am blessed to have them all here, EVERYDAY.

A gentle reminder of the EVERYDAY was given to me today. It was too appropriate, considering how blah I have been recently. One year ago today baby boy Ewan entered our world. Less than 17 days later he was taken from this earth. Today his mama celebrates his first birthday, but only through memories and pictures. She cannot hold him, kiss him, or help him blow out his candle. That emptiness is always there for her. So much pain. I have followed her story since he was a few days old. She is an amazing writer and mother. So brave and inspirational. She put together a wonderful slide show in his honor. Here it is:

http://www.team-ewan.com/2011/09/tribute-for-ewan-on-his-first-birthday.html

Happy birthday Ewan! Your baby sister Austen will be here soon. Oh the stories your mom and dad have to share with her of your courage and strength.

As you can imagine, that slide show puts so much into perspective. I cannot imagine this earth without my boys. I will fight my hardest for a happy ending to our story (not that Kirsten and James did not fight day in and day out). I will fight right alongside my hubby forever and ever. Happy Anniversary, babe. Happy "tons of cuddles day" Triston, Grayson and Caden. Here's to a day of holding close what we have and being blessed to have it EVERYDAY. I hope for so many more to come our way. And I wish for those who are hurting to feel the love they know exists around them all day, everyday.

p.s. As for our anniversary day plans-tons of laziness, no cooking and the kids will most definitely be sleeping with us tonight!