It's just that in so many ways I see other people's lives moving forward in positive and exciting directions ( and I am very happy for them bc they SO deserve it) and we feel stagnant all too often. My usual disclaimer hasnt changed....I still cherish every moment I have w my boys and I know there are families suffering harsher paths than us but some days (or months) are harder than others for me. To each his own.
I have 3 big wishes:
1. A cure for cancer. Not much to ask in my opinion!
- Childhood cancer is the number one disease killer in children.
- There are 15 children diagnosed with cancer for every one child diagnosed with pediatric AIDS. Yet, the U.S. invests approximately $595,000 for research per victim of pediatric AIDS and only $20,000 for each victim of childhood cancer.
- The National Cancer Institute's (NCI) federal budget was $4.6 billion. Of that, breast cancer received 12%, prostate cancer received 7%, and all 12 major groups of pediatric cancers combined received less than 3%.
- The American Cancer spends less than 70 cents of each 100 dollars raised on childhood cancer.
- Cancer kills more children than any other disease, more than Asthma, Cystic Fibrosis, Diabetes and Pediatric AIDS combined.
- Sadly, over 2,300 children with cancer die each year.
- Every school day 46 children are diagnosed.
- 1 in 330 children will have the disease by age 20.
- Cancers in very young children are highly aggressive and behave unlike malignant diseases at other times in life.
2. To be a stay at home mom one day. This IS the best thing I am good at. And as the years pass by I dislike my job more and more. The many hats I wear is wearing me down. Some days that Superwoman feeling doesn't even hit surface and I am just angry at the world for all that I had to accomplish in one day. Other days I amaze even myself. Ironic, huh, how there are moms out there who would give anything to work instead of being home?! We all have our niche. But in the big picture I do know that my job is a means to end as C says.We wouldn't have what we do or be able to enroll the kids in the "extras" without my job. AND thanks to number one I NEED to work for the insurance to get us through the countless years of cancer maintenance ahead. The other need to work leads to number 3!
3. A bigger home. A home that signifies a new chapter, new beginning in our life. Putting the rollercoaster past behind us. A cause for excitement for the kids as well as C and I. A play room for the kids, my own creation studio, space to be all around and not on top of each other. Again, I know there are people who JUST want a home instead of a condo or apt. We all have our wish lists dont we?
But until then I finally had the time to do some sprucing up to improve my mood of our current home (thank you Spring Break!). Not to mention a few crafts the for the kids and I. Who doesnt love Michaels craft store!
Whenever I see a home I like on the exterior I picture that episode from Jon and Kate plus 8 where they moved into that overly expansive home and the first time the kids see it they run around like with excitement like its an amusement park. I want that overflowing feeling for my kids and even C and I. That, this is gonna be great, feeling. One day.
Until then....spring break allowed me to accomplish a few things. Crazy how I was a true beast the week leading up to it. I know I yelled from the time we got home from school and the time they went to bed. I just couldnt control my stress. I took it out on the wrong people. I was feeling so deflated that week.
But WOW what a break will do. Saturday the first day of break I spent cleaning all day. I finally got around to hiring a cleaning lady to help me out. She tackled the ugly stuff while I dusted and organized. 12 hours later the house was cleaner than it has been in 3 mos. By Sunday morning I started it out right.Yoga, crafts and lists of things I have been meaning to get to. By Monday I had already accomplished so much! The rest of my days so far have been play dates and snuggles.
But I made the time to spruce up the home we do have and enjoy myself in the little things.
This wall project has been in my head for over two yrs when my mom bought me the overpriced wall paper at a steal (gotta love target employee discounts).
BEFORE:
I took the wallpaper and covered blank canvases. These are so cheap from Michaels and love how versatile they are. I have even given the kids blank ones to use as free expression and produce our own gallery art pieces. Luv it.
Then I found this rub-on quote months ago and fell in love.
Real Love Stories never have endings.
I stood in the middle of the aisle reading it and almost cried. At a time when things were once again stressful I was reminded of the center of my calm. My hubby. Our love brought us here and will keep us here, going at it as long as God intends. And for me that is forever.
My little helper
But when the blue wallpapered canvases faded into the wall I needed another plan. Once again the center came to my mind-our love brought us our kiddos. Who doesnt like going to bed with a reminder of those beautiful faces created by only you?!
The 3 kids got into some of the art using their fingerprints to create cherry blossom trees. Triston wanted to add Japanese characters to it so he looked up the meaning for peace and future and drew them on.
Then we snuck in one more craft for the kids. I have been wanting a seasonal wreath for awhile now and finally did it.
Truffala tree
Rainbow art ( G called it his rollercoaster of rainbows)
The rest of my break I intend to do some more blogging, relax, shop, yoga, spa day, hair day, some time with family and be a better mom in a better mood. I will eventually get to the homework in my work bag....
