A peek into the future?

Back in January/February I received an email invitation to an event sponsored by SuperSibs! (the organization that makes a point to include Triston on this journey and remind him he is special too). It was titled Quiet Heroes. The title alone intrigued me. I opened up to see it was a luncheon at a hotel for moms of children battling cancer. Well, to be honest after I read WHO it was FOR I pushed it out of my mind. I could not imagine myself attending such an event. Me? In a room full of other moms whose cancer battles exceeded mine in both length of time and understanding. I can't explain it. It is just that feeling of being a newbie at all of this and deciding whether I am ready to open up to others about it, especially those that have been at it for awhile. You get what I mean? But something told me not to delete the message. So it sat in my inbox.

Well, about a month or more later Areum asked me if I got the invitation (which at this point I had received a email and paper version). I let her know I had and she asked what I thought about it. I shared with her the tug I felt when I read the title. Quiet Hero. Is that what I am? And I realized it merely took some computerized text to help me see that I am indeed that, everyday. I need to be this for Grayson everyday. I am the one (of course hubby , too) completing the endless list of this and that FOR him. I am the one in the background fighting and doing for what he can't do or decide on his own. I am the quiet one, the forgotten one. And THAT is what SuperSibs! wanted me to see. THAT is what Areum helped me see in full that day, just by asking me a simple question-"what do you think about it?"

NOW, don't get ahead of yourself audience! This conversation did not seal the deal for my attendance to the event. No way. But, she did get me thinking. She knew she did, too. She asked that if she were to set up a Lutheran General table of moms in attendance and she attend as well, would I be interested. That didn't take much at all to ponder. I told her yes. I would like that. I believed I was ready for something like this. It had been almost 9 mos without any attempt on my part to connect w any other cancer families. I was not ready. I liked keeping what I understood, lived day in and day out and most importantly, believed inside my 4 walls. I did not want anything to taint that, endanger the hope and BELIEFS I have for Grayson's survival and courage. I have been comfortable with how I have accepted and battled on day by day. The groove we were in as a family and with clinic was acceptable and workable, our " new normal", and any interruption scared me, especially when we continue to hear how great he is doing. Get me?

But I told myself as I left clinic that day-if I can come to that realization in one conversation and FINALLY think of ME and how I have been affected by cancer than it would not be fair to myself or those around me to NOT do something with that knowledge. In March I registered for Quiet Heroes. And Areum let me know that I could also bring a guest. I was free but my guest had a $50 fee. Choosing my guest was easy.Not only did I know I would NEED the support during such an event but she and I needed each other at this time-the event was being held over Mother's day weekend. I hated that it was both sad and joyous events that led me to choose the perfect guest. But it was a no brainer. Remember Maria? I wrote of her mother's death back in March, the irony that her sister's brilliant team of drs that battled thru her Lymphoma (another blood cancer) are Grayson's drs, and the fact that she is a new mommy herself. Well, what better a place to be during such an emotionally difficult weekend. I envisioned it to be hard weekend for me, and more so for her. Her first mother's day, without her mom, and the rawness of that wound being poked at w a firey stick w each holiday. This way we could be there for each other to tackle a buffet of emotions.

Well, let me tell you -IT WAS WONDERFUL!! To be there not only w someone I love, my Mariella, but w a support team member like Areum was unforgettable. 2011 Mother's Day weekend goes down in history for me for so many reasons:

1. I opened up to my FIRST cancer event revolving around our own journey

2. I shared tears and laughter w so many beautiful women

3. I saw into the "other side" of what our cancer life will/may entail(

4. I saw the GOODNESS in people's hearts, strangers and organizations from all over-there was a mani/pedi booth, massage booth, hotel staff waiting on us hand n foot w champagne and food, and people who when they looked at me it felt like they saw into me. There was this silent understanding or glances that said to me " you are amazing for what you do, I get it bc I have been there or what kind of pedestal can I put you on bc you are unbelievable". I didn't feel like "oh, there's that mom of that boy who has cancer!"

5. I gained was forced to reflect upon what we have been through. To know that in 7+ mos time we made it to Maintenance. Moms I met that day had recently entered Maintenance after a year n half -2yrs. Their beautiful, strong children were battling cancer alongside other conditions that only complicate things. In the big picture we have been lucky. I have prayed for them and their journeys and what lies ahead for us.

Not only did I get to experience the above statements but I also enjoyed the presence of a wonderful speaker. His name was Jordan Sonnenblick. A down to earth fella who more than once commented on how HE felt intimated to be in a room w such empowering, strong, and dedicated women. That was quite the compliment. He began his discussion by explaining how his book DRUMS, GIRLS & DANGEROUS PIE came about. He is an English professor. When one of his junior high/high school students had a sibling that was diagnosed with leukemia he was disturbed to discover that he could not locate any appropriate reading material to help her through it all. Something beyond the factual definition type books. Something that tapped into what SHE may go thru as a sibling. So while he remained by her side (and the family) and listened to them open up he came up the idea to write the book from a sibling/family perspective. A peek into how cancer effects the entire family.

All I could think was-what a perfect tie into SuperSibs! bc that is what THEY DO! (this event was obviously well thought out!) The book interested me. And when I approached the author's signing table I caught a glimpse of his other books. But one title caught my eye. AFTER EVER AFTER. It did not indicate it was sequel to DRUMS but if this man wrote the way he spoke I was in. I purchased both books. Again, I didn't still quite know what each book was all about but when Jordan ( I can call him that bc well, his books are like he was in our heads!) asked me who he could make the books out to my responses popped out w out hesitation. He made DRUMS out to Triston and AFTER out to Grayson.

About a week or so after the luncheon G and I ended up in the hospital again. I brought DRUMS w me. I read it in less than a day. I could not put it down ( and I really mean that! After each dr-ish interruption I picked it right back up. I didn't care if G was spending the day doing TV and Ipad sutff. It as me time and I needed it. And bc I was so into the book I really did forget a few times that I was actually in the hospital. Here I was reading a book about a boy who is beginning his life in the hospital and I was in the hospital next to mine). It was so easy to read, the mind of a junior high student. And you don't have to have cancer in your life to love this book. It is one of those breeze thru quicklies bc you just have to know how Steven is going to tackle the next hurdle. How Jeffrey is handling treatment and how the parents are coping w it all. It had me chuckling bitty laughs to myself (and you know me! I barely laugh aloud at comedies). It had me smiling. Nervous. And sobbing. Truly sobbing. Part of that was what the book spoon fed me and the other part was- I WAS REALLY DUE for a good cry. Well past the expiration date.

There were too many connections to the heart and our situation. I truly believe I was meant to read this book right then and there. It was therapeutic.

Steven is the 8th grader big brother. Jeffrey is his 5 yr old bro who gets sick. And this book is the Alper family's journey through initial diagnosis.

The book is written in first-person. Steven begins the book reflecting on the past 10 mos. On the very first page he says, "How did I get here? How could my life have possibly changed so much in only ten months?" As I read that line I realized Caden was 10 mos old now. Grayson was 10 mos into treatment. Huh? yup, I was meant to read this book today. The ties went on and on throughout the book. The bond between these two brothers was the melt your heart kind. Jeffrey ADORED his big bro. He was a king in his eyes. That is my G to his T. And Jeffrey was diagnosed w exactly what G has-ALL.

And I ask myself that question all too often-When did this become my life?

What scared and calmed me at the same time? The closeness and mirrored thoughts I shared. The ideas of how moms vs dads handle these types of circumstances.

Statements like:

• "It looks like this is going to be what life is like for awhile"
• "My husband isn't really taking it well, yet"
• "We said we'd be back together soon and that everything would be fine. And at that moment everyone in the family was united toward the common goal of getting Jeffrey well".

What terrified me?

Quotes like:

• "Dad, they didn't just put tubes in. They stabbed him in the chest. They STABBED HIM!"
• "I couldn't believe my parents were just now noticing me, and that I might be upset about my brohter's situation. I'm fine. I think."
• "And I was angry. Mindlessly, relentlessly angry. Word got out about my 'tragic situation' and I was like mini-celebrity. Everyone talked of how strong and brave I was. How "lucky" Jeffrey was to have a brother like me. Why didn't they try being 'lucky' like Jeffrey for a few months?"
• "And I wanted to scream at every teacher as why they are making me do this stupid homework when my brother white blood cell count is low? Who cares about the list of presidents when Jeffrey has another spinal tap on Friday. Who cares about mulitplication binomials when my brother's gums bleed every time he tries to brush his teeth!"
• "I wanted to punch every kid that told me they 'understood' my pain. Nobody understood my pain. Maybe if I had gone to each of their houses, whacking random family members w a nail-studded two-by-four, they would have begun to have some basic comprehension."
• "And my parents-they were trying...but GOD!"
• "Meanwhile, Jeffrey went bald. He lost his beautiful golden hair. One day there was just nothing left to fall out. He never said anything to me about it along w the swelling in his face from all the steroids. He was looking horrible."
• "I will feel guilty forever...Jeffrey was driving me so nuts w his need for my attention that I was often relieved when he went to the hospital. I mean, I needed time off from him so I could catch up on schoolwork , but how hideous is that? I wished for my own baby brother to be hospitalized so I wouldn't have to play some one-side Chutes and Ladders games."
• " I was hanging in there. But the wierdness of acting 'normal' when nothing was really normal was exhausting."
• "I can't change any of it! But I can work on the things I CAN change."
• "The amazing thing was how comfortable Jeffrey was there. I mean, it seemed like a very nice place, and I was glad so many people cared about him, but I couldn't imagine feeling THAT at home in a cancer ward."
• "That day I looked at her with a new appreciation. This woman had spent nearly half her time this year at the hospital with her son, prayin gover him, watching over him, comforting him, handling all of this overwhelming cancer stuff. And suddenly, as she reached out and squeezed my arm, I realized without any shadow of a doubt that she would do the same for me."

Of course G was on my mind throughout the book (isn't he always?) but it was Triston that absorbed the foreground. Is this what he thinks right now? In the future? Will he resent his brother? Will he hate us for the life we are forced to live right now? We really are trying our best, T. The Triston element of this book (especially when it was in the big bro's perspective) shook me. Much of the sobbing was from these fears I have. And if you have been following for a while you know that I often discuss the impact of cancer on Triston and how that will play out or does from month to month. As a mom you don't just worry about the sick one. The sick one may occupy most of your thoughts throughout the day but there is ALWAYS time to think of my Eggroll n Rice. But it still hurt to read of another family suffering, thinking and wondering. Such pain. NO family should bear it. And I will never understand why some families are called to bear it more than once.

But not to get all sappy on you, please know that the book is great! It is in my top 5. And it is silly, funny, and most of all brave. I dont want to spoil too much for you if you are looking for a quickie read.

So of course I was eager to start AFTER EVER AFTER. It was written just as vibrantly. I will not spoil that one for you but I want to share the back of the book w you:

"Jeffrey isn't a boy with cancer anymore. Hes's a teen in remission. Even though the cancer should be far behind him, Jeffrey worries that it will return. He has normal stuff to worry about too-friends, parents, girls, school. NOrmally he'd ask his older brother, Steven, for advice. But trusty, responsible Steven is finally rebelling and has taken off to Africa to join a drumming circle. Meanwhile, Jeffrey's best friend, Tad, is hatching some kind of secret, crazy plan involoving eighth grade graduation. And Lindsey Abraham, a way hot girl who is new to the school, thinks Jeffrey's cute-which totally freaks him out.Theres's alot about life that cancer has prepared Jeffrey for, but there's also a lot that's brand new. Now is the time for him to stop surviving, stop worrying, and start living again."

I mean, just look at this cover. The cover of each book tells a story already.When I first looked at the cover of DRUMS it made me think of loneliness and a love for something. What that was I wasnt sure yet. AFTER clearly made me think of triumph and freedom. And this was all before I even cracked 'em open.

And how perfect that without my knowing it before reading-each book was dedicated to my perfect boy and his own special path on this journey. I will never forget meeting Jordan. I will never forget my first step into the "outside cancer world". And I will never forget how empowered I felt leaving that luncheon.

Here is to my boys.

To Triston-May he find his own personal T-like rhythm to the DRUM beat.

To Grayson-May he live his happily AFTER EVER AFTER and know his fan club is never far behind.

And to Caden-May he never cross paths w DANGEROUS PIE! And if he does-I am sure his bros will bail him out!

p.s Audience-If you want to know what DANGEROUS PIE is....READ the book! You will not regret it!

Butterfly wings

A while back my mom bought this for me. SHE LOVES butterflies and the grandkids have completed many cute projects over the years all for her. But when she told me she found this for me it was a little wierd and scary in that ironic sorta way if you know what I mean. I loved that it was red, my mom's fav color. But it's meaning brought sadness and hope to my heart.

The inscription reads like this:

THE BUTTERFLY REPRESENTS THE CHANGES A CHILD EXPERIENCES WHILE UNDERGOING CANCER TREATMENT. FROM THE COCOON OF TREATMENT AND ISOLATION, A CHILD EMERGES-BEAUTIFUL AND READY TO TAKE FLIGHT.

A SYMBOL OF HOPE.

Yes, Grayson sure will. I love you, Mom.

p.s. I puddled back and forth for the longest time where to place this. Hence, this post bc I found it under a pile of cancer papers on my dresser. Then the "duh" moment hit me last week. The car. Seems suiting, huh? A gentle reminder between chemo visits. A reminder of the days passing as we get closer and closer to Grayson's butterfly days. I can't imagine this kiddo more beautiful and amazing than he is now. I mean, can you even picture that day? I have a cancer mom acquaintance who recently posted that her son's last day of chemo treatment is mere days from now. The WHOLE family will be in the room as he gets his last treatment thru his port. Everyone there for that long awaited moment. Just reading it gave me chills and I burst into tears. I have not met this family and yet I could picture the elation busting out of them. It is the end of a grueling journey with endless hopes for so much more. All I can say is WOW! Bless them and the day I can write the same joyous phrases to share with all of you. It is less than 3 years away...our butterfly days!

Father's Day 2011

When I asked Triston what we should do for daddy on father's day he told me he wanted to make a painting. A humongous one. I replied that I wasn't so sure we had a piece of paper large enough. My problem-solver had a better response-"LET'S MAKE A MURAL!"

We just happened to be in the yard after work during this conversation and we both seemed to stare at the garage wall and nodd in agreement-we had found our background! The plan was to do it the Friday after work that way we didn't get caught up in any weekend junk and forget to do it. Well, my research for a stove and dishwasher that Friday followed by my exhaustion led to no mural productions. BUT, we still had Sunday. And as I lay in bed late Saturday evening pondering how I was going to pull this off (bc there was no convincing T of any other gift no matter how many time I tried) the early morning wake up calls saved the day. Before I knew it it was 6 am and all 3 kiddos were awake. Charito was nowhere near wakehood. So, I huddled them all up and off to the yard we went. I set them up with an impromptu breakfast while I set up the art supplies.
They had a blast. There we were at 8 am on a Sunday morn becoming artists under the sun. It really was a relaxing morning. And by the time they were drained of the artsy fartsy mood Charito woke and we were able to surprise him.

Working on his beach, rainbow (which he gave up on as soon as he saw we didn't have any orange or yellow), the sky and he and daddy holding hands.

My pic for daddy, he and I IN LOVE (go ahead and puke in your mouth if you want, we are kinda cutesy gross like that...it has been 17 years ya know!).

My vertically challenged Einstein conquering the obstacle.

Love this.

Admiring his work

Telling me "Ta Da"

Triston wrote HAPPY DAD DAY

We spent the rest of the day in the yard (until it rained). But best of all-we were able to go to a restaurant! That is right! All of us! We met the in-laws for dinner. It was wonderful! My favorite moment of the meal was when I looked down the table and saw everyone laughing, eating and OUT! And the fact that my boys STILL remembered their table manners and public places manners was the icing on my cake (the 12 layer cream cheese carrot cake that is!). It really was a great day!

Yard o' Paradise

We decided since we are getting good at making the best with what we got...we will turn our yard into our own vacay away. We recently picked up a Pirate water table (didnt take much convincing from T to throw that one into my cart), a shade tent and water paraphernalia (not my personal favs-NOTED). My fav so far is the annoyingly "easy my ass" shade tent. Yeah it is a pain to setup but it keeps the ever moving Caden on lockdown safely. I swear, of all my kids, he is the only one after one trial taste of grass actually enjoys it! Gross! And now that we have gotten smart and pay lawn guys vs sucking up family time we are using fertilizer and this double grosses me out! This kid! TOOOOO easy breezy sometimes. If that is even possible?!Someone can climb the fort now!
Their new chairs. My sick attempt at a cute pic. Caden loves the sticker label.

Triston telling Caden to throw his hat up in the air like at a graduation.

And T n G have "graduated" while Caden eats the sticker label. I really need these 4 teeth to come in soon!

His typical steroid smile!

T n G called this their treasure chest...

and by the time T carried it down the gangway G asked, "OH NO, where the treasure go? It's missing! Bryley!!! " yeah, he blames Bry for everything!

Where's Caden? Notice the banig (filipinos...did I spell that right?) to prevent him from eating the grass instead of his snack!

Sexy as always

These are neat "paraphernalia"-dragon squirters!

The model strut

Don't forget about me, Ma!

It has been nice to just sit in the yard and let them at it. They are easy to please. Water and each other. They create play schemes and tools and run wild w their imaginations. And Caden just gives them these sad eyes that plea to have the increased mobility to keep up w them. It is because of T n G he is walking around the fort and sliding down. He insists on following them so often that he will even crawl on the concrete at full speed. That only lasted a couple of days after red knees and now he crab walks. I don't recall T n G crab walking until 18 mos in their tumbling class and here is this tiny one all about it. He really makes me laugh.

As long as they are having fun that is all that matters. Sprinklers, slip n slides and boy things is all it takes. For me-all I need is a book, laptop and food!

Awana and Triston

Remember that SAD post about Triston and I spending our first evening w Awana? Well, things flipped flopped fantastically since that evening. During a break between hospital stays in April Awan held their closing ceremony. The kids were to receive awards and join in a party for all their hard work. Upon dropping off T at the front desk I was confronted by one of the leaders. She, with tear-filled eyes, thanked me for the note I wrote to them weeks prior. She was touched by our story and most importantly how I felt about the organization.
I HAD to write something to these people. I not only saw a positive change in T but this place is outstanding. And if you recall, his path of religion via school and Awana have guided me as well. As I have found myself saying in recent weeks-my religious path is that of a preschooler's mind and I am ok w that. You gotta start at the beginning sometimes. And considering the place I am in right now I need this type of simple innocence when it comes to God and how I tackle my beliefs, disbeliefs and many questions. And the other reason-Grayson's journey has taught me something else-to say what is on my mind. Share the good that people do. Don't we all love to hear our actions mean something to others? That we are doing something right, no matter how little it may seem to ourselves? I needed to let them know they had a good thing going. In my note I mentioned a sentence or two about G and why T needed something for himself and Awana did this for him, for us. I also mentioned what an emotionally difficult evening the first night was for he and I and how we decided to give it one more shot. She assured me that it was moments like these that reminded them of WHY they do what they do for these kids. By the end we were both crying and hugging. She then added that she hoped I didnt mind that they put a clip of the note in the slide show that would be presented during the assembly. Whoah, thanks for the heads up. I got a double heads up moments later when Najette texted me to make sure I had kleenux bc T was in several shots. Umm, all of a sudden this event that was feeling like I HAD to attend so T would not feel left out (in the midst of returning from the hospital days before) was getting very overwhelming!

I approached the church where the event was to be held. Found my friends. And what a relieving feeling that was. The old and new friends that nudged us to join this program-Najette, Alysa and Catherine. It felt good to be included in something, a group, friends, people I can count on. We settled in for the slideshow accompanied by heartfelt music. I could not stop the tears AND the proud mommy feelings. I had friends next to me to place thier hands on my shoulder, squeeze my hand or just wink.

A pic from the slide show-eating ice cream from the ginormous ice cream sundae. There was this fantastic pic of the camera running the length of the sundae and then immediately after the faces and tongues lined up in front of it-hilarious!

his pal Jackson

popsicle party

Peeking into the audience.
On stage singing some great songs.

And can I tell you how proud I was of T!! It was not until I remembered it was an award ceremony that I realized T would not be getting one (although I do think kids should get one for attendance-even if it is those cheapsie cookie cutter paper awards that way no on feels left out bc I did notice T was not the only one receiving anything that night). We only started the program in February or March and there was no way he was to complete his book in time. I got nauseous thinking of how he may react when it clicked in his head, too. But then I saw his face on stage. HE WAS simply thrilled to be up there singing. A part of a group. Feeling included in something that was all his own. And as names were called to accept awards his face never flinched toward worry or sadness. He was just my T. Amazing.

And even more exciting...as each age group went up there to do there thang I could sense the excitement and interest in his body language as I watched the back of his head/body from my seat. And following the ceremony he shared w me that he cant wait to be a TNT ( I think that is what they are called seeing as it is mos after that I am writing this). It was the teen group. It seemed to me they eventually become junior leaders themselves or run camps or lead awesome missionary lives. Whatever they become-God is there center and that was obvious in their performance. Why wouldn't he want to be like them someday?! THEY ROCKED OUT! They had instruments, guitars and were all around cool dudes (and ladies). It was a great performance. And as a side note-God-like music can really rock (another religious aspect I am figuring out). Triston was impressed and so was I. He had a vision of what Awana could be like down the road. And regardless of what becomes of Awana in our lives down the family road it still left an impact on him, in such a short few weeks he affected and I loved that feeling. We are signing up for their VBS this summer (vacation bible school-it's like religious summer camp) and Awana (its like religious boys scouts) in the fall. This time he will begin it when everyone else does and not get that sense he missed out on things. He is looking forward to it and so am I! Shhhh , it serves as mommy CCD on the side!

Funny guy

After falling asleep w the boys last night (really early) I had to wake in the middle of the night to give Grayson his dose of Mercaptopurine. The kid was munching on pizza to the very last second before bedtime so that blew that timing. Around 1 am....
Me: Sushi, gotta wake up for medicine.
No movement. I waited a few seconds and just when I was about to repeat my sentence ...
G: Knock knock
Me: Who's there? (as I tried my best not to bust out laughing)
G: Banana sushi
Me: Banana sushi who?
G: BANANA SUSHI, HA HA!
The entire time he told his joke he did it w his eyes closed. But as he finished up the final line he looked up at me w his smiling eyes and clownish smile. I kissed a chubby cheek as fast as I could and he hugged me. This was one chemo dose I sure didnt mind waking up for.
G didnt go back to sleep until 4 am. I was able to sneak in a mommy movie while he cuddled and talked my ear off. It was actually a pleasant 3 hours just he and I. My lil late nite partyer!

Don't be shocked...

The bicker, banter and (whistle blow) violation-physical contact (shouldn't take much to guess who is fault here! c'mon think really, really hard!)

Segregated from the victim for quiet time.

Still milking it

And the make up hug. Jekyll and Hyde I tell ya.

G was pretty much like this all last Sunday (June 5). Such a nice touch of G charm to our

first calm day together since the pox hospital stay.

It went down like this:

Sunday, May 29-Wed,. June 1 Grayson in hospital for chicken pox (see previous post)

We got home after dinner and I intended to stay home to recover from the hospital stay and attend Triston's graduation luncheon. I still needed to get gifts for teachers, principal and school office manager. Can you say Hello Jewel-Osco at midnight!

Thursday, June 2 A emotional and wonderful couple of hours w just Triston to ourselves. He beamed with pride on stage. Then I returned to laundry while Charito and T headed our for haircuts and boy stuff.

Friday, June 3 Go back to work.

Saturday, June 3- Buy, Buy Baby and haircuts for Triston, Caden and I (It was actually very relaxing to be in that shop with our fav AC for couple of hours).

Where's Caden?

I am pretty sure this is his 3rd haircut by AC (and one by me that we will not talk about).

At Buy Buy Baby Triston fluttered those girlie eyelashes of his and mentioned (as he Vanna White's his way toward the Little Tikes section) "Wouldn't this be nice in our yard, Mom?". And thus began the decision to gussy up the yard for the summer. We will be creating an escape-like paradise in our own yard. We are gonna make the best of a vacation-less summer. The kids have already started enjoying themselves with the handful of beautiful days recently. Pics coming soon!

June 4th-a full week of work which leads us up to today and the most recent posts before this. I just had to vent about those first few days of June. It was one of those weeks in which I prepped myself for a non-chemo Monday on the 4th and actually had to look at the calendar to believe it was June. The days were a blur and the months switched off while we were in the hospital. It felt like a dream state of blurry days (and not the kinda dream you particularly want to be having on any night). I don't know where the days have gone. And I never really believe I will catch up. Resistance is futile!

Mothers Day 2011

Simply put-it was wonderful.

Any day that includes my kiddos, the outdoors, the Botanic gardens (even if we had to wait in line to get into the parking lot for 40 min) and my man equals a great day.

ANY time I can see G happy as a clam to be anywhere else than home or LGH is a great day for me. Any day I can see my boys being playful, affectionate brothers is a great day for me. So what if we couldn't walk into a restaurant, mall or go to some fancy party. The outdoors is our safe zone and the weather was perfect for it. I love that the kids have their fav places to wander in there. We never pass up the trains and japanese gardens.

Happy Mothers Day to me (everyday)